Gotta six week plan, gonna change my life,

Getta job, getta place, some wheels, getta wife,

Get through 45 days of Bootcamp Hell,

Bye bye braces & elastic, I'll be back wearing belts,

Gotta six week plan, saw it on Facebook,

Twenty quid , got an App, is all that it took,

Gotta six week plan, gonna shave, get new glasses,

Gonna read a book, go to evening classes,

Gonna get me a flat, finally go on my own,

On Victoria street, opposite her home,

The lovely Melinda, she backs on to ours,

She's top wife material, gonna buy her some flowers,

Seen her scroll through her phone, out back with a ciggy,

Time out from her kids, life seems a bit shitty,

Most time she's in pyjamas, a towel round her hair,

Seen her looking real sad, head in hands, right there,

Gonna ask her to be mine, gonna take her out first,

Gotta get me some new trainers, use that tenner from Ma's purse,

Gotta six week plan, getta job, a career,

Gonna get up in the morning, stop drinking cheap beer,

Gonna drive a forklift, be better that Phil,

Gonna get a license, gonna work at the Mill,

Gonna get me an earring, a nose thing, and all that,

A tattoo with Chinese writing, maybe just a cool hat,

Gotta six week plan, gonna learn how to drive,

Learn it in secret, YouTube vids, GTA5

Gonna get me some wheels, a pick-up like next doors,

No more busses, no more e-scooters, getting me a sick 4x4,

Gotta six week plan, gonna learn the pianna,

Get on Britain’s Got Talent, sing a song with Rhianna,

Mel will see me on telly, gonna see who I am,

Gonna tell all her friends, gonna tell her mam,

'I know that fella, he lives behind ours,

I've seen him driving that big flash car'

Gotta six week plan, gonna be a success,

Gonna show her who I am, gonna buy her a dress,

Gonna be my turn this year, my luck’s gonna change,

Gonna start with finding out Mel's real name,

Gotta six week plan, gonna be all okay,

At the Harvester, together, on Valentine's Day.